Grow a Pair

I was talking to a friend of mine today who helps business owners increase their confidence when I blurted out without thinking, “I need to grow a pair of balls.”  She reminded me at the exact same time I remembered… I wouldn’t want that at all!  Not only would they not look good on me :) , they also go against my natural source of power.

Photo by Xtina LamThe trick to being empowered is to be yourself.  You have to find your own strengths and resist the temptation to try to fit into the cookie cutter idea of what’s normal.  Many of us were taught (directly or indirectly) that to make it in a career, we’d have to try to mold ourselves into the suits and ties that were running the place.  After years of experimenting with this principle, I think we are starting to realize that it just doesn’t feel right.

Trying to be a woman fitting in in a man’s world drains you of your abilities.  Sure, you’ll do okay… maybe you’ll even do great.  But once you learn to tap into your feminine power, you will become energized and things will flow from you with less effort.

Have you ever noticed, on those days where you feel really hot and sexy, how the world seems to bow down at your feet? That is what being in your power feels like.

On some days, I want to be more courageous.  I want to claim my power.  I want to be authentic without apologies.  But no, I never want to grow a pair of balls.

What do you think?  I’d love to hear your comments!

Posted in Feminine Power, Roles | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Rules Are Made to Be Broken

What self-imposed rules are running your life right now?  Look around and notice your requirements.  What do you need to feel happy?  To feel loved?  To feel like a success?

Chances are you are setting the bar too high.

Photo by PincieroA good friend and mentor of mine, Lynette Patterson, walked me through an exercise once that was life changing.  The idea is to write down the feelings you value in life and rate them in order of importance.  You may have things on your list like financial security, freedom, love, success, and anything else that is important to you.

Next, ask yourself, “What needs to happen in order for me to feel this way?”  If you are working on freedom, for example, your rules around feeling free might be that you need to rid yourself of obligations and committing to plans.  You might want to be self employed so that your schedule is not determined by someone else.

Here’s the hard part… get rid of as many of those rules as you can! That’s right.  Just throw them right out the window!

You can have your need for feeling free met just by acknowledging that you always have the power of choice.  You can choose your job, which determines your schedule.  You can choose your thoughts when you have to tend to an obligation.

The big one that surprised me personally was my rules around success.  For me to consider myself successful, I needed X amount of income, X number of degrees, a perfect husband, perfect children, and a white picket fence.

With those requirements, there was a good chance that I would NEVER consider myself a success!

I revised what I need to have to feel successful.  My new requirements are that I have to be constantly growing and trying to better myself.  Another rule is that I have to follow my heart as best I can.  Under those smaller, looser conditions, it is easy to consider myself wildly successful.

Once those needs are met, your confidence soars and the benefits trickle out into other areas of your life.

Another one that gets most people is their rules around feeling loved.  Are your rules so tight that it that nearly no one could meet them?  Or do you insist that someone acts a certain way and if not, you don’t feel loved?

Bend the rules… loosen them… even BREAK them until they are incredibly easy to meet. Watch how much happier you become!

Do any of your rules set you up for failure?  Do some of them set you up for success and happiness?  Please share!

Posted in Beliefs | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

The Road to Authenticity

You know, when I started this blog, I wanted to inspire people and give instructions on how to live a better life.  While I still want those things, I had a realization today that no one likes to be told what to do.  Sure, there are some strictly motivational sites that impact people but I find the sites I connect with the most are the ones run by real people sharing their personal stories.

My friend MJ Schrader and I have been talking a lot lately about being authentic.  It occurred to me that by giving my readers only instruction, there was a part of me that felt like a fake.  To me, that made it sound like I have it all figured out.  The authentic part of me is very comfortable with the idea that I will never have it all figured out.

Stop Pretending You're Not Human by Tayrawr Fortune

I’ve learned a lot of things in my life.  I have learned some things that work and some things that don’t work for me.  I feel that there is tremendous value in sharing that knowledge and helping other women on their path to happiness.

The latest thing I have come to realize is that touching people’s lives requires an authentic sharing of yourself.

So this blog is going to take a turn, hopefully for the better.  I have decided to include more personal stories.  I have decided that I will write what is in my heart as it happens, even if I don’t have it figured out yet.  I have decided that I will write about my struggles as well as my victories.

And if I happen to help a woman or two along the way, that will be the most delicious icing on the cake!

What kind of bloggers do you connect with?  How do you feel about “teachers” sharing their imperfections???

Posted in Personal Stories | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

Where Does Inspiration Find You?

Part of living a successful life is knowing your own quirks and intricacies.  Everyone is different.  What works for 99% of the population may not work for you and that is okay.  The most important thing is to know how you work and modify your life accordingly.

So the question I have for you today is:  Where does inspiration find you?  When does your clarity come?  Under what circumstances do your great ideas come to you?

Mine is the shower.  I wanted it to be somewhere more glamorous.  I wanted ideas to come when I was meditating or communing with nature.

Eventually, I stopped judging and learned to work with what came naturally. Now as I stand there with the hot water rolling down my back, I can give thanks and be grateful when the inspirations and the great ideas come.  I just wish I could write them down on paper before they slip down the drain!

Where do your best ideas come to you?  I’d love to know!

Posted in Inspiration | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Kicking the Paper Clutter Habit ~ Part 3

So today we are wrapping up our series on paper clutter.  I saved the best for last.  The final point is the single most important reason to clear your clutter…

Ongoing Maintenance

Now that you are conquering those stacks, you have to stop the flow of paper coming into your life before it builds again.  Sort mail as soon as you get it from the mail box and put the junk mail straight in the recycling bin.  If that’s not possible for you, get a small container to contain the mail.  Once it gets full, you have to empty it… no arguing.  Better yet, switch your statements to an online format (most companies offer these now).  Digital statements take up less space, waste less paper, and are easy to organize on your computer.

The Humdinger:  Is the Value It Provides Worth the Cost of Keeping It?

It takes precious Life Force to care for material things, even a piece of paper.  Is that piece of paper really important enough for you to spend your valuable Life Energy on??? Probably not.

For many people, keeping papers and notes started out by providing a sense of security but at some point the tables tipped.  The thing that once made you feel all warm and cozy gets to be overwhelming and starts suffocating you.

Something that once gave you a sense of control suddenly starts making you feel imprisoned.

So begin little by little.  You don’t have to tackle it all at once.  Once you start pitching papers, you will begin to feel lighter.  This is your energy being freed up.  Once you have a taste of this lightness of spirit, it will feel so good that you will want to get rid of another stagnant stack until you are no longer a prisoner to your paper!

Disclaimer: Please educate yourself on which papers are important to keep for financial or tax reasons.

Have you experienced the lightness of decluttering?  Success stories lift others up so I’d love to hear yours!  Other comments are welcome too…  ;)

Posted in Excess, Letting Go | Tagged , , | 1 Comment