The Definition of Feminine?

When I was young, I saw a lot of women doing unsavory things.  They cried to get sympathy.  They acted dumb so wouldn’t hurt a man’s ego.  They were sickeningly sweet and bubbly, even when they didn’t mean it.  They withheld sex in an attempt to control their partners.  They would go into fits of hysteria and fly off the handle for the smallest little things.

I had associated a lot of things I didn’t like with being a women or worse yet… “girly”.

The women I saw in the world seemed weak and manipulative… two qualities I didn’t want to be.

Looking back, I now know that your beliefs color your experiences and draw more of the same to you.  I’m sure my fear and resistance to what I observed brought more examples into my awareness.

It took me a long time to deprogram those beliefs and accept my femininity.  Once I discovered that my femininity could be my greatest ally, a whole new world opened up for me.  I realized that women can be softly powerful, magnificently strong in ways that men can’t, and authentically emotional in a beautiful way.  A woman who is in integrity with her soul is an amazingly stunning creature.

Photo by Niki Stuns

I used to hate the color pink.  I’d avoid it at all costs.  I still don’t dig flowers, hearts, and unicorns (with the exception of fresh cut flowers)… but now I can wear pink with pride as a symbol that I have stepped into my power as a woman.   Pink high heels are even better!

What do you consider to be feminine?  Is there such a thing as “too much”?   I’m curious what you think!

This entry was posted in Beliefs, Femininity and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to The Definition of Feminine?

  1. Tina says:

    I’ve never been a girly girl -always the tomboy. Pink never did look good on me; blacks, browns, and burgundy were the best I could do. I’ve never really thought about why I resisted the girly side of me, but I did learn how to embrace it and use it for good (man, that sounds like a super power, huh?) when I worked in the corporate world. I was a manager in the IT field -A woman, advanced within months to manage the men that had been there for 10 years longer than I. I had to balance the strong tomboy side with the softer (but more powerful) girly side. I loved it, and embraced it after that.
    Tina´s last blog ..Eebee BirthdayMy ComLuv Profile

    • Kelly says:

      Hey, I love your super powers! I wonder if those of us who resisted our femininity appreciate it in a deeper way than those who have always accepted it? Just thinking…

      Sounds like you found a good balance. That is fabulous! :)

  2. I think the struggle you mentioned is something that so many women go through. I cringe when I hear a woman say sweeping statements like “You can’t trust another woman” – although I instantly picture the lessons she has learned along the way and internalized. As you say, though, we do often attract more of it into our lives so we can learn the truth. I love the power of being feminine in the sense of being very strong, capable, nurturing, creative, empathetic and seeking cooperation.
    Good topic!
    Evelyn Roberts Brooks´s last blog ..Diet motivationMy ComLuv Profile

    • Kelly says:

      Oh yeah… here’s another one… “women are catty.” One of my favorite things is meeting women who are secure enough in themselves to support and befriend each other.

      It warms my heart to be finding so many of those kind through this blog (you being one of them). Thanks!

  3. I love this post because it really resonates with me!! I’m not a pinky-pink girl either but I have learned to embrace it in recent years and I like the way you tie that into embracing women-power! And, -your pink high heels are the bomb!!
    Martha Giffen´s last blog ..Good Enough is Good EnoughMy ComLuv Profile

    • Kelly says:

      Ha! I wish those heels were mine! It’s just a picture I found (no tattoos for me, thanks). Never even thought about taking a picture of my own but that woulda been cool.

  4. Aw, shucks! I thought, for sure, those heels and tat belonged to you, Kelly. :)

    May sound strange, but I never think about my femininity. I just see myself as me — and someone that happens to be female. Funny how this post took me back to a time about thirty-five years ago when I worked in radiology on the graveyard shift. The other female technicians thought I was nuts for taking the position because I’d be working with an all-male crew. It was the best job and best time I ever had! I was totally respected and totally excepted into the group and we all got along great. I guess I was lucky to have experienced one of those rare moments in the workplace where a woman was accepted as an “equal”.

    Great topic!
    Melanie Kissell´s last blog ..20 Blog Post Titles For YouMy ComLuv Profile

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